WoodenSpoon http://woodenspoon.net um, stuff Sat, 17 Jul 2010 13:21:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 en A twelve times table for the twenty-first Century http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/17/a-twelve-times-table-for-the-twenthy-first-century/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/17/a-twelve-times-table-for-the-twenthy-first-century/#comments Sat, 17 Jul 2010 08:32:53 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=401 Kids these days.

  • Can’t do maths
  • Can’t read
  • Can’t tie their sholeaces
  • Spend all their time on the computer

Solution (for the child who is sick of the above jibes):

  1. Download R
  2. Fire it up and at the [retro-g33k-chic] prompt, enter outer(1:12,1:12)
  3. Marvel at the beauty: 
          [,1] [,2] [,3] [,4] [,5] [,6] [,7] [,8] [,9] [,10] [,11] [,12]
 [1,]    1    2    3    4    5    6    7    8    9    10    11    12
 [2,]    2    4    6    8   10   12   14   16   18    20    22    24
 [3,]    3    6    9   12   15   18   21   24   27    30    33    36
 [4,]    4    8   12   16   20   24   28   32   36    40    44    48
 [5,]    5   10   15   20   25   30   35   40   45    50    55    60
 [6,]    6   12   18   24   30   36   42   48   54    60    66    72
 [7,]    7   14   21   28   35   42   49   56   63    70    77    84
 [8,]    8   16   24   32   40   48   56   64   72    80    88    96
 [9,]    9   18   27   36   45   54   63   72   81    90    99   108
[10,]   10   20   30   40   50   60   70   80   90   100   110   120
[11,]   11   22   33   44   55   66   77   88   99   110   121   132
[12,]   12   24   36   48   60   72   84   96  108   120   132   144
  4. Load it into your brain by rote. It works and will serve you well.
]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/17/a-twelve-times-table-for-the-twenthy-first-century/feed/ A Vision Statement for ST33V.com: For the betterment of humanity http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/17/a-vision-statement-for-st33vcom-for-the-betterment-of-humanity/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/17/a-vision-statement-for-st33vcom-for-the-betterment-of-humanity/#comments Sat, 17 Jul 2010 04:16:40 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=397 While hanging clothes in teh forsty morning air, my str34m of conciousness flowed down familiar subterranean routes. Familiar to me but n3v3r publicised, hence their underground-ness.

The fissure in that hard rock may well be the shiny new cyberealestate ST33V.com. Why not make it a force for good instead of my usual bent of vapidity and irrelevance?

Why not indeed?

At the risk of shinining too strong a light on such as tender s33dling as this site and collection ideas, here are some examples of topics pedagogical and technological that could appear one day soon, if my muses can banish Queen Procrastinata.


  • The colour of money: A participatory pedagogical exercise for school classes that examines the distribution of production dates for coins in the pockets of the class. A simple form would be to stick to five cent pieces and ask students to bring in as many as they can (up to a limit of course) which should not be a problem because they are almost useless and without value now, so parents would willingly let them go to school without worrying about their value (A side exercise could be to donate them to a worthy cause at the end of the session). The plan is that students, in small groups, record the year marked on each coin and then combine them to form a class-sized distribution. If each student had say 10 coins, and there were say 20 students in the class, that would be 200 coins. Enough to make a deent histogram. There would be plenty of talking points, such as the nature of distributions, frequentism and sample size vs bayesianism, and even the social aspects suchas the changing portrait of the Queen over time.
    The next step would be to upload this data (to ST33V.com of course) to compare it with a larger sample. More distribution theory and also the notions of long tails and extreme events.

    Which latter leads to decimalisation. The students will eventually work out that there are no coins older than 1966 in the entire sample set.

    I wonder whether you could map a theoretical distribution onto the sample to account for increasing rarity with age coupled with the rarity of new coins….

    Further exercises could involve $1 coins and $2 coins, each of which would mysteriously have later ’start’ dates than 1966. 1984 (from memory) for the $1 and about 1988 for $2. Opportunities to talk about inflation and the demise of the 1 and 2 c piece.

    And so on.

    Corker eh?!

  • Use my new-found mad Skillz in SQL to code up a database to hold the data in the previous dot point.
  • An exercise on parabolic motion, beginning with a fairly vaguely-worded assignment to find and discuss the video of an astronaut on the m00n dropping a peice of paper and a hammer (as I recall it, having seen it live as a child). I have not seen it recently but it must be on the webz.

    This could move into the counter-intuitive result that motion can be divided into orthogonal components and that for a breif moment, vertical motion ceases when a rock is thrown into the air. Calculus, Isaac Newton, Leibnitz and the planets and we could finally end with the quote made by an Apollo astronaut the ‘Newton was flying the ship’ as they headed towards the moon.

  • and so on.

These are just reminders for me, but please believe that each has a fully formed idea beneath it. L3ts s33 what becomes of them…

Fowler on Betterment as an example of erroneous Saxonism in writing

Fowler on Betterment as an example of erroneous Saxonism in writing

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/17/a-vision-statement-for-st33vcom-for-the-betterment-of-humanity/feed/ 8 things you think you understand about ST33V.cOm but you really don’t http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/14/8-things-you-think-you-understand-about-st33vcom-but-you-really-dont/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/14/8-things-you-think-you-understand-about-st33vcom-but-you-really-dont/#comments Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:24:26 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=387 .. I have just set up St33v.com. For the moment, it is just redirecting here. [the title is courtesy of the LinkBait Generator]

Strangely enough, I recently wrote my own Internet Phenomenon Generator:

# Steve's Internet Phenomenon Generator
# ver. 0.9 B 13 Jul 10
#
TNIP <- function(){
     n <- trunc(runif(4, 1, 5),0)
     x <- c('cats','reaction videos','ferrets','girls','sheep','rickrolls',
                  'cups','jars','red paperclips','ceiling fans')
     cat(sprintf('The next internet phenomenon: %i %s, %i %s.',
                  n[1], x[n[2]], n[3], x[n[4]*2]),'\n')
}

# If (U R A n00b) eat this : http://www.google.com/search?q=R

To use the Generator, paste the script into your R console and then type 

TNIP()

to discover what The Next Internet Phenomenon®™ will be.

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/07/14/8-things-you-think-you-understand-about-st33vcom-but-you-really-dont/feed/ Missing cat…by David Thorne http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/30/380/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/30/380/#comments Wed, 30 Jun 2010 08:57:46 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=380 p.s. It turns out that this was actually made by someone. Possibly David Thorne. I pasted it from an email into my blog thinking it was just a product of the internewt [note: actual typo; funny so I left it].


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 8.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has
been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to
busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I
will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name
Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing
on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read
your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you
holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all
what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and
alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back
legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this
afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever
it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really
worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to
a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair
of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but
I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them
without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party
was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After
the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at
the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling
Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and
he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat
down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat
clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair,
slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a
speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the
cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the
back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a
movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am
extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears.
you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger
please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would
have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions
otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t
come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log
onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to
overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied
with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across
busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly
fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but
that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows
the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says
missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and
the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she
was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything
stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I
would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s
cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment
and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in
a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I
wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have
put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later,
when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I
was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed
to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it
from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes
on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per
your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That
cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met
any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get
a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I
haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white
one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?”
you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs
removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one
of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I
would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced
with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could
charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If
I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would
call it Steven.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars.
What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is
perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I
have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make
photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

p.s. It turns out that this was actually made by someone. Possibly David Thorne. I pasted it from an email into my blog thinking it was just a product of the internewt [note: actual typo; funny so I left it].

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/30/380/feed/ World Statistics Day 20-10-2010 http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/29/world-statistics-day-20-10-2010/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/29/world-statistics-day-20-10-2010/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:19:14 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=366 Excellent Date

Excellent Date

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/29/world-statistics-day-20-10-2010/feed/ World population growth http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/29/world-population-growth/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/29/world-population-growth/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:21:55 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=364

Are there 9 billion ways to say ’sustainable’?

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/06/29/world-population-growth/feed/ The new real meaning of easter http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/the-new-real-meaning-of-easter/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/the-new-real-meaning-of-easter/#comments Sat, 27 Mar 2010 03:57:08 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=362 Here is my easter photo. Before I delved into my archive, I had formed a false memery that I had taken a photo in the Real (TM) Woolies (R) (i.e. Dickson), at teh deli, where there were stickers on the front of the seafood frisge saying (words to teh effect of) ‘Giving up meat for Lent (TM)? Why not take home some tasty prawns to bolster your flagging reserves of righteousness?’

This pic (taken at teh French store pronounced ‘tar-zhay’) is my consolation prize, perhaps even more bizarre? You decide.

Forget about the bunny, this is the new meaning of easter

Forget about the bunny, this is the new meaning of easter

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/the-new-real-meaning-of-easter/feed/ Setting the countdown time for the dual boot screen with: bcdedit /timeout 5 http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/setting-the-countdown-time-for-the-dual-boot-screen-with-bcdedit-timeout-5/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/setting-the-countdown-time-for-the-dual-boot-screen-with-bcdedit-timeout-5/#comments Fri, 26 Mar 2010 18:29:47 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=355 bcdedit /timeout 5

bcdedit /timeout 5

type CMD into the start menu search area
oh yeah - Don’t forget to ‘run as administrator’ (right click)

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/setting-the-countdown-time-for-the-dual-boot-screen-with-bcdedit-timeout-5/feed/ I’m on a mission from God: Getting the band back together http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/im-on-a-mission-from-god-getting-the-band-back-together/ http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/im-on-a-mission-from-god-getting-the-band-back-together/#comments Fri, 26 Mar 2010 18:13:17 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=353 It’s 4am and I’m sitting here sniffing slippery snot, waiting for the aspirins to work. Lying in bed passively waiting for my body to produce the right antibodies for my virus (its a MAN cold ok!!) that was so boring I thought I might as well fire up the computer.
Seeing a post from July 2009 on my homepage made me think about the siren call of fARSEbook, with its too-easy interface has made me neglect poor old woodenspoon. Hell I’ve got my own website and I’m going to rage against the going of the light. I will not go gentle into that false delight.

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2010/03/27/im-on-a-mission-from-god-getting-the-band-back-together/feed/ Steel capped orange gumboots by special request http://woodenspoon.net/2009/07/07/steel-capped-orange-gumboots-by-special-request/ http://woodenspoon.net/2009/07/07/steel-capped-orange-gumboots-by-special-request/#comments Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:10:59 +0000 St33v http://woodenspoon.net/?p=350 The mind of Zoe moves in mysterious ways. Today she requested pictorial evidence of her sartorial elegance. Perhaps for a bet? Here ’tis:

Zoe models steel capped orange gumboots at Araluen 2008

Zoe models steel capped orange gumboots at Araluen 2008

]]> http://woodenspoon.net/2009/07/07/steel-capped-orange-gumboots-by-special-request/feed/