WoodenSpoon

What is this waxy corpse-pale thing?
Not what is claimed, that’s for sure.

Isn’t it against the law to make false claims?
Why are we not protected from this assault?

Sure, the lit match catches it in flame
And my fireplace is starting to warm me.

But its a matter of Principle.
Although I was not perturbed -
I’ve seen far worse
On the internet and in real life. But
Children may see this travesty;
Their fragile minds tricked into licencious promiscuity.

An egg may be called a sphere
Or, worse, a sphere a circle.
“Who cares, you know what I mean.
Chill out man:
People may call you a pedant.
Orthogonal triangles are so square.
And who says a cube must have equal sides?”

This is not a cube

On the 7.30 report last night Susan_Greenfield said that computer games are ruining children’s minds.

She sez that computer games alter children’s brains by replacing the real world - where events occur in a sequential narrative, choices are made and consequences occur - with an instant gratification shoot-em-up simulacrum [my word not hers but aint it a great one?].

Ho Hum. It seems to me that the brains of some grown ups must develop into a state that dictates that if they didn’t experience something when they were young, it must be bad. Look at Nicola Roxon, who thinks that alcopops are a dire threat to teenage girls. She has been silent on how her generation avoided certain ruin at the hands of Brandevino and Passiona.

As Hesiod is said to have said:

I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words… When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint.

I was so disturbed by the interview that I immeadiately got online and started blasting away at anything that moved in Urban Terrror.

Susan, AYBABTU.

Last October I closed a phone account with Telstra. I’d paid the three month rental in advance so there was a credit. “The cheque will come in the post”, I thought. A few weeks later I got my letter from Telstra. It was a bill, whcih said I was in credit for $43.09. A dark suspicion began to grow in my mind that if I didn’t pursue the matter, neither would they.

I filed the bill in the too hard basket, and early this month it shuffled itself to the pile. I was feeling positive so I called the number. After telling my name and birth date to people scattered in call centres across the country, I was assured that a sum of $43.08 would be credited directly to my bank [Credit Union, actually] account. You may have noticed a one cent discrepancy in the two figures. That was what they said they had on their screens.The call had taken about half an hour, so I couldn’t be bothered arguing over it.

About a week later I got another credit bill, dated after my phone call. Not a good sign. Last night I finally checked my account balances and sure enough, presents from Telstra were conspicuously absent from the credit column. So…. this morning after bouncing around for another 30 minutes and some lovely chats about my birthday, I insisted that I be paid $43.09. Against protestations that $43.08 was what was on their screen, I said, “I have a bill from you saying you owe me $43.09 and I want you to pay that amount to me. These two phone calls have taken an hour. I think my time is worth one cent an hour, don’t you?”. My interlocutor agreed, glad to be rid of me. I was just as glad to be rid of them.

Recently I learnt that one could purchase steel-capped gumboots. Now it seems safety-conciousness has also emerged in the fashion end of the footwear market.

Steel capped KT26 shoes. Style and safety entwined in a perfect package

While scouring the net for an image of Jeffrey Smart’s “Container Train in Landscape” I stumbled on an old blog by someone called Mary Forrest. She can’t be famous; she hasn’t a wikipedia entry.

She gives Robin Williams a good shellacking, quite rightly, before turing her attention to James Bond movies with this gem:

I just take note of how brash and unreasonable and boob-like Americans tend to look in these films. I guess it must mean that that’s the way we like to see ourselves. Because we’re the ones these movies are being sold to, aren’t we? Are we missing something here?

Don’t forget, these are the people who say they could care less.

BoM’s view of the current situation (may change rapidly).

The Americans are weird. We all know that, and some of them have moments of clarity from time to time. But we love them nonetheless. Everything is simple for them. You either win or you lose. You are either free or oppressed by a socialist state intent on foisting health care and education on you or your children. Winter begins in December and everyone can sing along to Hot August Night. But what a solipsistic brain-fart is their fukked-up date system?

   The only places in the world that use mm-dd-yy are USA and a “few other countries that have been heavily influenced by the US”, to quote the wikipedia.

So lets resolve to use a sensible date format from now on.

Here is a screenshot sent by a colleague that works in a tall building. He sez:

You’ll be glad to know that the little man inside our computers is still entertaining us with random boxes that popup out of nowhere: