WoodenSpoon

Kids these days.

• Can’t do maths
• Can’t read
• Can’t tie their sholeaces
• Spend all their time on the computer

Solution (for the child who is sick of the above jibes):

1. Download R
2. Fire it up and at the [retro-g33k-chic] prompt, enter outer(1:12,1:12)
3. Marvel at the beauty:

         [,1] [,2] [,3] [,4] [,5] [,6] [,7] [,8] [,9] [,10] [,11] [,12]
    [1,]    1    2    3    4    5    6    7    8    9    10    11    12
    [2,]    2    4    6    8   10   12   14   16   18    20    22    24
    [3,]    3    6    9   12   15   18   21   24   27    30    33    36
    [4,]    4    8   12   16   20   24   28   32   36    40    44    48
    [5,]    5   10   15   20   25   30   35   40   45    50    55    60
    [6,]    6   12   18   24   30   36   42   48   54    60    66    72
    [7,]    7   14   21   28   35   42   49   56   63    70    77    84
    [8,]    8   16   24   32   40   48   56   64   72    80    88    96
    [9,]    9   18   27   36   45   54   63   72   81    90    99   108
   [10,]   10   20   30   40   50   60   70   80   90   100   110   120
   [11,]   11   22   33   44   55   66   77   88   99   110   121   132
   [12,]   12   24   36   48   60   72   84   96  108   120   132   144
   

4. Load it into your brain by rote. It works and will serve you well.

.. I have just set up St33v.com. For the moment, it is just redirecting here. [the title is courtesy of the LinkBait Generator]

Strangely enough, I recently wrote my own Internet Phenomenon Generator:

# Steve's Internet Phenomenon Generator
# ver. 0.9 B 13 Jul 10
#
TNIP <- function(){
     n <- trunc(runif(4, 1, 5),0)
     x <- c('cats','reaction videos','ferrets','girls','sheep','rickrolls',
                  'cups','jars','red paperclips','ceiling fans')
     cat(sprintf('The next internet phenomenon: %i %s, %i %s.',
                  n[1], x[n[2]], n[3], x[n[4]*2]),'\n')
}

# If (U R A n00b) eat this : http://www.google.com/search?q=R

To use the Generator, paste the script into your R console and then type

TNIP()

to discover what The Next Internet Phenomenon^®™ will be.

bcdedit /timeout 5

type CMD into the start menu search area
oh yeah - Don’t forget to ‘run as administrator’ (right click)

I just noticed that the wikipedia has an option that converts an article into PDF format. Click on PDF version in the toolbox area of the left hand pane, and wait a few seconds as the PDF is generated on the fly, ready for downloading.

Excellent!

There’s something about the big banana. To me, when the only other big things in Australia were North of the Border(®™), it was always a sign that we were really On Holiday. With the advent of the digital camera, it is now possible mandatory to take a snap as one drives past. I have some others in teh archive, taken before I realised I had created yet another int3rn3t tr4diti0n. I’ll dig em out, promise.

Composition, focus, glare. None of these matter. The big banana is the money shot.

The obligatory driving-past-the-big-banana shot

NFI!?

Here is some webcam footage.

And here is a possible cause or is it a solution?

Everybody’s doing it.