Lost Archives Recovered!
Guest contribution from Captain Ken, first published in www.archeologytoday!.com.
Dateline: Somewhere Between Canberra and Up North
In all my years as a journalist for this prestigious magazine, I can honestly say I have not been more thrilled by an SMS message than the one I received earlier today.
For many years a significant piece of Tribal History has been lost, presumed destroyed in the Great Fire of 1989. Imagine my surprise and amazement to discover that the “Scrivener Street Chronicle” has been found!
This amazing discovery was made by none other than noted archeologist Dr Shtevie J. Pratt (esq.). For the last nine months Dr Pratt has been working with the help of a labour force of 73 dedicated coolies, and a D9 front end loader, on the Huge Paper Pile. This massive mound is oft referred to as the “The Most Complete Record of Transactional Minutae Ever Compiled in Human History”. Today, the “Pile” spewed forth one of its greatest treasures, the “Scrivener Street Chronicle”.
Written by monks on vellum sometime in the 1990’s, and illustrated in the psychadelic-celtic style, the “Scrivener Street Chronicle” records dates of an even earlier time, known to some as “the 80’s”. This was a time before civilisation: when cars ran on pure lead, university was free, and more alchohol was drunk than coffee.
Although the authors of the chronicle remain shrouded in the mists of time, their voices can still be heard across the eons from that dim age. And what unbelievable knowledge do they convey! Already historians have made the shocking discovery that ONLY ONE HOUSE existed at 103 scrivener street, not the 40 storey multiplex that is there today. Just as astonishing is the fact that the small chamber leading from the Lounge Gallery was not, as was commonly taught in schools, a place for quiet meditation, but in fact a storage area known as the “Box Room”,which was never entered, remaining sealed for some 12 years.
Further shocking discoveries are sure to be made, as teams of cryptographers decipher the Chronicle, which was written in the language of the day. The strangest thing about the language of the Chronicle is that it has 27 words meaning “Door” at various degrees of volume, inflection and cadence.
This not the first treasure that Dr Pratt has wrest from the bosom of “The Pile” . Earlier this year the “Lost Tax Deduction Receipts” were also found.
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